How do you protect your collection before you get married? Divorce can kill a hobby!

[MeetThyReaper]

OK...I've got a serious question for everybody. I know alot of collectors here are married. I'm not. I'm at the age where I'm considering getting serious. My concern is that I have a HUGE collection of comics, action figures, statues, DVDs, and other geek-related goodness. How the heck do you go about protecting your collection if things ever went sour in a marriage? I honestly dread the idea that if I had to get a divorce, the ex would be entitled to half my stuff. Good God, I have customs and a ton of irreplacable items. I know about prenuptial agreements, but am not sure how well they hold up. Also, how the hell do I protect my collection when I add new stuff AFTER getting married? This is a major hiccup for me and I'd love to hear what fellow collectors have to say.

Thanks gang!

Sincerely,

Your friendly neighborhood Reaper

[minimadman]

Prenup? Although if my wife and I split I think that the last thing she would want are my Minimates and other geeky nonsense. She would probably be more focused on the real treasures like the children. If you really want your stuff to be safe marry someone with their own hobby that way she'll be too busy making sure that you don't get her stuff you can escape with your wares.

[buttheadsmate]

I loved my first wife but unfortunately her husband loved her as well.

Seriously though if you're worried about breaking up before you're even married ,there are perhaps bigger questions to ask yourself ??

I have never been married & the reasons why may be obvious to everybody. My parents ,sadly both gone,had been married for sixty years,my sister has been married for 40 years & my late sister had been married for 25+ years until she passed on.

I really f*ck up the 'averages' in my family

[dr baghead]

I am not a lawyer and this in no way legal advice, but from what I understand the point of divorce is to be "made whole" NOT to decide who gets the red and who gets the black pieces of your "connect 4" game.

The only items "at risk" in a divorce are those purchased jointly or those purchased with the implication of being for the two of you and anything acquired as a gift for you as a couple. A house, a car, a big screen TV, a computer used by the family... big ticket items that even if you went out and bought with your own money count towards your communal worth and will be spilt up. "Bitch got half my stuff" is a bit of an outdated notion, from when the man was the breadwinner and the woman was the homemarker, he works his ass off, earned all the money, then in the divorce she's walking away with stuff HE PAID FOR, the woman does not automatically get her stuff PLUS half. In fact in these modern working-women times you're probably going to be making joint purchases, so you'll both be getting half each others worth, and in some cases the woman is the one loosing more (take for example Jessica Simpson, she was a big time movie star and Nick Lasha a failed boy bander, she had to give HIM money)

So unless:

-You sank so much money into the collection the only way she can be "made whole" is to sell it

-She collects too and part of it belongs to her OR you purchased together

-She's a vindictive bitch who knows she can get whatever she wants by threatening to take your toys ("It's the kids or the Gold Spider-man")

If it's the first, you asked for it by sending too much. If its the second you can probably barter to keep what you REALLY want (for example, should the impossible happen and my relationship go south, I get my minimates but she'll get the Four Horsemen and Hellboy figures.) If it's the last, get a better lawyer who can find her weak spot to give you some leverage or to realize you need to adjust priority to figure out if its worth it keep your collectables to give up the car, house, kids, and dog.

[youbastards]

Seriously though if you're worried about breaking up before you're even married ,there are perhaps bigger questions to ask yourself ??

This.

I don't mean to judge your relationship as I have not met either of you, but in the case of my wife and I (our 13th anniversary is next week!) I had a huge collection of comics (still do) and toys (sold most over the years) before we got married, and this thought never once crossed my mind. It wasn't because I wasn't well-planned before the wedding. It was because the idea of this marriage 'not working' wasn't even in my mind.

[neolego]

Yeah, Baghead has pretty much answered your question. For there to be any risk there would have to be LOTS on money worth of items. I would say if it's under 10 grand you shouldn't even worry about it. In a divorce it's normally either Split what you own together or alimony which is basically just a monthly check you write her. She doesn't get half of your cloths or 2 of the 4 boxes of cereal. Again, I don't know how much your collection is worth, that may be where you want to start if you seriously think you have that much of an investment! neo

[karamazov80]

Rent a storage unit that your wife doesn't know about, and hoard them all there.

You are right--marriages come and go. But Minimates?

[TM2 Dinobot]

Seriously though if you're worried about breaking up before you're even married ,there are perhaps bigger questions to ask yourself ??

This.

I don't mean to judge your relationship as I have not met either of you, but in the case of my wife and I (our 13th anniversary is next week!) I had a huge collection of comics (still do) and toys (sold most over the years) before we got married, and this thought never once crossed my mind. It wasn't because I wasn't well-planned before the wedding. It was because the idea of this marriage 'not working' wasn't even in my mind.

Yeah, I gotta go with these guys.

[groundhog7s]

I suggest either finding a girl that has a collection as big as yours (so that you can do an even split) or, even better, finding one that has a larger collection so that you gain some ground if you do break-up. You know there must be tons of available women out there that fit these requirements.

[Trekker 42]

I suggest either finding a girl that has a collection as big as yours (so that you can do an even split) or, even better, finding one that has a larger collection so that you gain some ground if you do break-up. You know there must be tons of available women out there that fit these requirements.

Where? I need to find one!

[TBT!]

This has to be the oddest thread we've had in a long time!

Buy a house with a secret room before you meet her and hide your collection there, never admit the collection exists.

This also has the benefit that if you have kids they wont be trashing your preciouses either!

T.

p.s. IF It goes really really badly it's also a great place to put a freezer to keep the body in!

[karamazov80]

This also has the benefit that if you have kids they wont be trashing your preciouses either!

T.

If my child tries to touch any of my toys, she'll regret it.

[groundhog7s]

To be serious, I have to agree with the 'if you're going into a marriage with the idea it might end in divorce it probably will' mindset, but for for the sake of discussion, couldn't you always just 'give' your collection away to a friend if things looked to be heading that way? You know, someone who'd be willing to give it back afterwards?

This also has the benefit that if you have kids they wont be trashing your preciouses either!

T.

If my child tries to touch any of my toys, she'll regret it.

This is why I have a fake toy collection also. My kids think I like Superhero Squad toys and SW Clone Wars, but they're just the decoy collection. Those are more fun to play with and draw their attention away from wanting the cooler stuff that daddy has.

And then reality sets in that I'm 34 years old and I'm having to find ways to keep my toys away from my kids. And it sounds really intelligent when my wife says that, too.

[TM2 Dinobot]

I don't know how well this will work out, but by the time I get married I plan on having my own house that I own and built myself, my own land, and my own furniture. So essentially I just need to add a wife. Probably make her all mad that nothing's in OUR name, but whatever. It's a silly dream anyways, and 10 years away at least. :/

[groundhog7s]

While you're at it, TM2, you might want to build your own wife. If it's a silly dream, why not make it perfect?

[TM2 Dinobot]

Ooh! She could be like Summer Glau!

[buttheadsmate]

I am laughing my head off Priceless comments....decoy collections & rented storage units

[TBT!]

While you're at it, TM2, you might want to build your own wife. If it's a silly dream, why not make it perfect?

The most important thing with making your own woman is that the bra on your head fits snuggly during the process*.

T.

*See Wierd Science for reference.

[Danny]

Or do what those wacky Japanese do and actually marry a Minimate!

[groundhog7s]

Now I picture a scene with a 5' 6" live Black Cat Minimate walking out of a smoke filled room towards TM2...

[karamazov80]

Or do what those wacky Japanese do and actually marry a Minimate!

I bet some Japanese folks would be offended that you would compare a Minimate to an actual digital companion. C'mon!

[TM2 Dinobot]

Is anyone else hearing the Beyond the Valley of the Dolls theme?

[buttheadsmate]

Now I picture a scene with a 5' 6" live Black Cat Minimate walking out of a smoke filled room towards TM2...

....in walks 6'2" 'live buttheadsmate Minimate' who nonchalantly knees TM2 in the groin whilst simultaneously offering 'live Black Cat Minimate' a drink & engaging in riveting conversation about articulation & C3 feet......

[Turtle]

I am not a lawyer and this in no way legal advice, but from what I understand the point of divorce is to be "made whole" NOT to decide who gets the red and who gets the black pieces of your "connect 4" game...

Well said, sir. I still think a pre-nup is good way to protect yourself, as surely you will be obtaining items during the marriage. But be careful here too. Even if your pre-nup says all the toys obtained before and during the marriage are yours, she may still try to claim that you have willfully hidden assets by hoarding toys. For instance, foreseeing divorce, you may start buying lots and lots of toys, way more than normal, just so your hard earned money would fall into the Toy Clause of your pre-nup and you could sell them all off after the divorce. Tricky though you may be, she probably has a good argument to recapture some of that.

You might want to consider creating a trust. The trust could own your toys for your benefit. The reality is that you would have your toys, it's just that the trust would be the legal entity in charge, but you'd control it. That is good to protect your toys not just against vindictive future ex-spouses, but also against other creditors angry that you've been skipping the bills but buying toys. A trust also is beneficial in that you may now name a beneficiary in the event of your untimely demise. You don't have to worry about writing your toy collection into the will or the complex laws of intestate succession tearing your collection apart. The trust, created now by you before dementia or scheming relatives take effect, can effectively transfer ownership to the successors of your choosing in a peaceful, tax-free method.

** This is not real-life legal advice. If you're seriously concerned about this stuff, contact a lawyer in your state when you make your marriage plans. Although, as has been mentioned, if your concerns remain more about how to protect your toys than give sweet lovin' to your lady, you may not have to worry about getting married.

Edited May 26, 2010 by Turtle

[battlecat]

Bearing in mind that my vast legal knowledge comes from watching Law & Order a lot:

I know about prenuptial agreements, but am not sure how well they hold up.

Well they're legal contracts... and I think you can have prenups refer to purchases that will be made during the marriage as well.

but for for the sake of discussion, couldn't you always just 'give' your collection away to a friend if things looked to be heading that way? You know, someone who'd be willing to give it back afterwards?

Pretty sure that's considered 'fraud' or 'hiding your assets' or something, if done anywhere near a divorce...

I don't know how well this will work out, but by the time I get married I plan on having my own house that I own and built myself, my own land, and my own furniture. So essentially I just need to add a wife. Probably make her all mad that nothing's in OUR name, but whatever. It's a silly dream anyways, and 10 years away at least. :/

Well if you also plan on letting that wife live in your house, then after a few years she may own half of it regardless of the name on the deed... I think that differs state to state though, so maybe not. Also she may have just a few things of her own she wants to bring with her!