Twisted Two-Face Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Ignoring rule: Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punisher Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Chuck Norris can divide by zero. **GASP** Not even Chuck Norris can harness the power to divide by zero!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trekker 42 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 Chuck Norris can divide by zero. **GASP** Not even Chuck Norris can harness the power to divide by zero!! YOU DARE to doubt the NORRIS??? GASP. And since nobody was enforcing this rule I figured WTH, just roll with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twisted Two-Face Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Lol, i killed the rule. Kinda dirty, but i got one: For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TM2 Dinobot Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Lol, i killed the rule. Kinda dirty, but i got one: For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. Unless you're an anonymous member of the board who lacks a testicle... Chuck Norris doesn't punch testicles, they run away in fear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndieMate Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 If you have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's Computer, Chuck Norris is always in control. Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays' potato chip. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognises the element of surprise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrobotC Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 (edited) Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot. Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice. Everything King Midas touches turns to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead. Chuck Norris invented all 32 letters of the alphabet Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes. Edited March 24, 2009 by clayface1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Minimate Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Chuck Norris never won an award for Walker: Texas Ranger when acting because he doesn't act. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entertheninja! Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked, right as Mr.T punched and the end result was the UNIVERSE! orrrrr... Chuck Norris Doesn't sleep he waits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karamazov80 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays' potato chip. Good one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Minimate Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. It's descendants are known today as giraffes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Harris Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 (edited) My favorite one is "Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice." ... And: Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews Bees. ... And I do of course love the way google participates. Just type Chuck Norris and press "I'm feeling lucky". ____ Edit: I just realized that google.com isn't as cool as google.de, since if you do as mentioned above, google just replies: "Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you." Edited March 24, 2009 by Bob Harris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
super spider piggy Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 The Chuck Norrisauraus faced extinction and won. Chuck Norris watches the Watchmen. The movie 'Apoyclapse Now!" was originally titled "Chuck Norris turns on Humanity". :spiderham: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndieMate Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. It's descendants are known today as giraffes. Haha! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wallbreaker2.0 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Chuck Norrris doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndieMate Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nervous Rex Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Children go to bed in Superman pajamas, but Superman goes to bed in Chuck Norris pajamas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handsomedevil Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I'm surprised that this got necroed. Really? I forgot about this topic... Everyone should have! I can't hate on him too much- I had the Chuck Norris action figures. ...and wasn't there a cartoon too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blacksun1520 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Death lies in bed every night, scared and wondering when Chuck Norris will come for him. BS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniFiend UK Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Chuck Norris Seizes the day. Seizes it by the throat and crushes its larnyx. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Minimate Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 (edited) Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors and scissors beats paper. Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time. Hurry up so I can post again! I got a billion up my sleeve! Edited March 25, 2009 by Captain Minimate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndieMate Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trekker 42 Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors and scissors beats paper. Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time. Hurry up so I can post again! I got a billion up my sleeve! We kinda despensed with that rule... Post as many as you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniFiend UK Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Chuck Norris never needs Viagra because he's the hard anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entertheninja! Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 John McCain was allowed to live, because Chuck Norris shows respect, and doesn't kill women... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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