Waiting to hear back from my editor

[TM2 Dinobot]

So, interesting story. Spirit Sword was not the first book I've ever written. It the one one I talk about, the one where my passion lies. I like that book. I could write for young adults the rest of my life and be very happy.

But it was not the first.

The first was an adult drama novel titled the terrible name of "Shattered Heart." It took me a year to write over the course of 2007. When finished it ended up being right at 150,000 words. It was not well received. By anyone. Least of all me.

As some of you may know, I am a believing man. I started writing out of desperation, no job, no money, no future (Yeah, I've been in this exact same rut for a while.) I began writing with the attitude of "Fine! I'll write a book just to prove to you that I can't write!" The original story was about a character named Vikki St James. She was an adult film star who had a come-to-Jesus-meetin, but then didn't want to change her life because the money was too good. I guess I was just being edgy and eclectic or something. I was 20, what can I say.

But then I heard from God, who said very simply "Nono, bring your 'A' game." So I changed the premise of the story. Something relocatable, something personal. Something I never thought I'd write about because I was afraid to. And I hung onto a promise I received. "You write it and I'll take care of the rest." I heard that, not with my ears, but with my heart. I believed it. I still do.

And then I started writing. And it took a year. And it was really, really hard. I moved out, bummed around a bit, moved back, went to Honduras and back. Yeah, the book may have been written, but it wasn't even closed to finished. I wrote 4 other books before finally coming back to it. I edited. I cut. I trimmed. It was so much akin to forging a sword that the parallels to Spirit Sword are staggering to me sometimes.

It has taken me almost a year and a half of editing. The story lost over half its content. 86,000 words. It has eaten 5 years of my life and soul. This is what I am. I just sent it off to my editor for, what should be, my next to last edits. For the first time it is well and truly out of my hands. And I just have to keep clinging to that promise.

You know, there's 3 things I hate in writers. I still do. I was determined when I set out that I would never become them. 1) People who have been writing their book for years. I'm spoiled. Spirit Sword IV was my 2nd longest book and I punched it out in 2 weeks. I was on fire. I can't stand people who piddle around on their manuscripts. Either you're a writer or not. 2) All writers are old. Somehow, without looking, I fell into the adage of 'never trust anyone over 30.' I was young and, well, I'd never describe myself as virile, but I at least felt young. 3) People who say "Tsk, God gave me this message. He put this on my heart. This is God's story, and he just gave me the words, y'all. Y'all know what I'm sayin?"

Well, 1) It's taken me 5 years to write this thing. 2) Now I've got 30 staring down the gun barrel at me. It happens without you even looking. 3) This is a book that would never have been started without God, let alone finished.

Somehow I turned into the exact thing I hate. And at least this whole taught me some humility. It's taught me that life isn't black and white. It's messy, and you have to actually live to be alive. Fernando Pessoa said "To narrate is to create, while to live is merely to be lived." Writing this book I have come to discover a love of people that I had no idea I was capable of. Humans are bloody, messy, hurt, broken creatures, and I love them so much. I love being one, and I love helping them. I love you.

Though everything, y'all have been there for me. Each and everyone one of you. Pushing and pulling, encouraging and joking. Helping to create, in some small way, who I am, and ergo, what this book is. These characters are alive to me, they will live forever. And y'all helped do that. Thank you.

Now I must ask your advice one more time. General Kenobi, long ago you served my father in the Clone Wa-- wait, that's the wrong speech. Hang on.

Soon, not this exact moment, but soon I will start a kickstarter and indie gogo campaign. I will need money for start up fees for printing, and possibly something for advertising.

But before that, I have a situation. I have just about decided to go with Amazon Kindle printing. But there's an issue. They're going to put the book in their distribution catalog, and whoever wants it can just order it. But I want this book in Wal-Mart, Target, CVS is nothing else. But they all work through their own distribution companies. There's a disconnect. I need to figure out how to make that connection. How can I get my book in, lets say, Wal-Mart? I did find this list, but I'm not sure how to use it. It's akin to having the right tool and no knowledge.

But before that, I need to figure out what's going on with the money. I want to donate 100% of proceeds to charity. I don't want to see one red cent. I'd like to give the money to widows and orphans, so I need to find out if I need to start a trust for that, or is there's already one I can donate to. I also need to find out about my taxes. If, (and I'm actually afraid it migh. how weird is that?) this book is a huge hit and I make a million dollars, and I donate all that million dollars, do I still have to pay taxes on that million dollars?

There's some really frustrating and fearful stuff there. I'm in over my head and just trying not to breathe too deep.

But, before all that...

I need a title.

Edited July 16, 2013 by TM2 Dinobot

[MisterPL]

I think your title might be in your first post:

"God Forbid"

From what I understand, big box retailers won't take a chance on a new title (or a new anything, for that matter) unless it's proven elsewhere. Amazon might be the best way to get noticed and then, when the book – "God Forbid" – takes off, you'll be in better position to negotiate.

Good luck with this endeavor. Obviously it's come to mean quite a bit more than you expected.

[karamazov80]

Sounds like you've got a number of issues to work out there. Charitable contributions are tax deductible, but income you decide to use exclusively for charity. . .best to contact an accountant or at least a tax return person at H&R Block. Best of luck.

Edited July 17, 2013 by karamazov80

[TM2 Dinobot]

What do y'all think about this name?

Enmity

Used in this case to mean undying love, yet complete opposition. I was thinking either that or "From Enmity, With Love." but that's just me being a fan boy.