TM2 Dinobot Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 PLASTIC TOYS ENCOURAGE BAD HABITS IN CHILDREN -- Cube World News - AP -- The Surgeon General released an announcement today concerning the rash of recalled toys coming out of China. "These incidents have caused me to look closer that the toys our children are playing with," he was quoted as saying. "I must say, I'm very disturbed." On the topic of discussion was the occurrences of led paint, poor quality control and over all subject matter. Of particular interest were the block-action figure line of Minimate toys. "Have you looked at these things? They're insane!" said the president of D.U.M.A.S.S., the Delegation of United Mothers Against Stimulation Situations. "I mean, seriously. We sit around in my basement all day, forcing sticks up our collective arses, and my son brings in one of these so-called 'Mini-Mates'. Obviously, we were shocked. I mean here are toys that don't follow any kind of conformity at all. What are they, block figures or action figures? They're two whole inches, which any stupid adult could easily choke on, yet they have a whopping 14 points of articulation! After firing up my 1991 Tandy II computer and connecting to that thing called the 'World Wide Web', I and my collection of middle-aged-over-weight-over-protective- friends went to work. Once more we were shocked. Here was a line of toys aimed not at children but adults! The waves had a surprising number of female figures, which as you know we've tried hard to stop. I don't want my son playing with any toys of girls. Ugh. They also have a plethora of diverse characters. I was once more shocked to learn that they incorporated people of color into these toys, from Orientals to black to even space aliens! And once more I was shocked to learn that they encourage bad habits such as violence with the use of included weapons, smoking with the use of cigars and drinking with the use of flagons. With dragons. That hold true brew. Honestly, doesn't that shock you? I'm shocked right now!" At this point Mrs. Johnson discovered that one of the sticks up her but was in fact a venomous snake. No one bothered to drive her to the hospital, and she latter died in her basement after drowning in a pool of her own stupidity. Her funeral was attended by her pussy. "The late Mrs. Johnson does have a point," the Surgeon General responds. "Collectors refer to these as 'plastic crack'. They do indeed smell good, and this has me concerned. What happens if someone smells one of these and they actually have a good day? We can't me having that." Minimates do indeed employ a large number of taboo objects in a normal children’s line. Cigars are strictly off limits, and female characters are usually reserved for the day after never. With the advent of seven new lines this year alone, Minimates Madness may indeed be sweeping the nation, or at least the pocket books of collectors. With it's popularity growing exponentially, DST, DCD and AA must be doing something right. Mrs. Johnson's pussy was unavailable for comment." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBT! Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 That may actually qualify as the most sensible thing you've ever said T. p.s. where is the the totally random and pointless thread when you need it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TM2 Dinobot Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 Heh. I actually had a real reason for bringing this up. It really did occur to me how much I LOVE the fact that I can have my Minimates smoke. This pleases me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 That's great! This is the reason I come here! Random pointless nonsense! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
616commando Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 can't wait until after work to roll myself up a mini-mate bleezy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captain_cbecker Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 Yeah, that led paint thing had me worried too.... but not so much as people who die as a result of having a snake-stick stuck in their but. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_Donster Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 You know, there isn't a day that goes by that I'm amazed that I reached the age I have I mean when I was a kid everything was made out of wood, metal and painted with lead based paints I mean what were my parents thinking that I should ride a bike without a helmet, not to mention a skate board. Didn't they know that there little boy was in danger in the big bad world? In all seriousness though, this is an unfortunate set of circumstances for all toy companies, not just Mattel or anyone else who have come under fire. But honestly, where are the parents when all of this is going on? Another thing that chaps the ass is the tv guidelines C'mon, get off your fat ass and be a parent, don't count on the government to do it for you...grr!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omendreamer Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 Minimates are clearly a hazard to your health, for they led me to this forum, and this thread, which caused me to laugh my ass off. Minimates are to blame for the loss of my ass. As Izzy said in The Mummy Returns "I'm in mourning for my ass." Clearly someone must pay for my trauma. :biggrin: It's nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks they smell good. But I also used to advocate for a perfume that smelled like fresh Play-Doh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buttheadsmate Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 I've just finished reading (Dec. 2007) Howard the Duck,who.... no longer smokes a cigar. Sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinimateEspo25 Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 I've just finished reading (Dec. 2007) Howard the Duck,who.... no longer smokes a cigar. Sad. you know, while i worked on that book, i never noticed, but you're right, he does have his cigar anymore, not cool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadpool Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 I've just finished reading (Dec. 2007) Howard the Duck,who.... no longer smokes a cigar. Sad. you know, while i worked on that book, i never noticed, but you're right, he does have his cigar anymore, not cool Nor does Nick Fury... sigh... Why can Luke Cage "sweet Christmas" Jessica Jones in her "insert obvious euphimism for bum" but Fury can't chomp a cigar? (was Alias before the no-smoking thing?) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TM2 Dinobot Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 See, I'm like 40 years too late. While in person it's a disgusting, foul and smelly habit, in print it is sexy. Who ever heard of sex without an after-glow cigarette? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadpool Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 See, I'm like 40 years too late. While in person it's a disgusting, foul and smelly habit, in print it is sexy. Who ever heard of sex without an after-glow cigarette? The point is that part of the character has been removed due to censorship. Think like if Deadpool couldn't make any pop-culture references for fear of offending someone. It'd suck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkerbean Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 Why can Luke Cage "sweet Christmas" Jessica Jones in her "insert obvious euphimism for bum" but Fury can't chomp a cigar? (was Alias before the no-smoking thing?) when the hell did this happen, i've been ready marvel for nigh on 20 years dag nab it and i never heard of luke cage "sweet christmasing" jessica jones "in the back of a volkswagon" (to quote mallrats!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reideen1313 Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 Minimates are clearly a hazard to your health, for they led me to this forum, and this thread, which caused me to laugh my ass off. Minimates are to blame for the loss of my ass. As Izzy said in The Mummy Returns "I'm in mourning for my ass." Clearly someone must pay for my trauma. :biggrin: It's nice to know I'm not the only one who thinks they smell good. But I also used to advocate for a perfume that smelled like fresh Play-Doh. You mean, like this perfume, right here? It's still available from the manufacturer. Just do a quick google search for playdoh perfume. You know, there isn't a day that goes by that I'm amazed that I reached the age I have I mean when I was a kid everything was made out of wood, metal and painted with lead based paints I mean what were my parents thinking that I should ride a bike without a helmet, not to mention a skate board. Didn't they know that there little boy was in danger in the big bad world? In all seriousness though, this is an unfortunate set of circumstances for all toy companies, not just Mattel or anyone else who have come under fire. But honestly, where are the parents when all of this is going on? Another thing that chaps the ass is the tv guidelines C'mon, get off your fat ass and be a parent, don't count on the government to do it for you...grr!! Reminds me of Irwin Mainway & Mainway Toys from the 70's Don. They had classic toys, like Bag O' Glass, Pretty Peggy Ear-Piercing Set, General Tron's Secret Police Confession Kit, and Doggie Dentist. Don't even get me started on Johnny Switchblade Adventure Punk - press his head, and two sharp knives spring from his arms. The ones I really enjoyed were Bag O' Nails, Bag O' Bugs, Bag O' Vipers, and Bag O' Sulfuric Acid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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