AdyCarter Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Anyone got any hints... I just tried my best and my little one (coming up on three) kinda got it, but I get the feeling that there shall be a lot more questions tomorrow when she gets up. Basically for the post couple of years we've had a pet budgie, a lovely little tame thing that she REALLY loved, referred to as "her birdy" and as part of our family - she used to talk to it and wanted to share toys and food with it. Sadly today it kind of seems that "Mr Bird" (yes Im crap at names, be glad this places isnt "A Minimate Forum") turned out to be a Mrs Bird and sadly became eggbound and died. Im gutted, but sadly the little one is even more so, shes gone to bed now but I get the feeling she'll be heartbroken in the morning. So anyone been in similar position, got any tips? Im not religious so sadly I cant take the easy route of saying its in bird heaven.... And yes I know this is an odd topic for a Minimate forum, but you guys are my family as it were. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deadpool Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Make sure to let her know that the bird is still safe, and in a better place now. Use lots of funny words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRISIS Survivor Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 well i was older than her when my grandpa (not a bird but it still might help) passed away even thou i was older it was still the first time i had to deal with death but after they found out that he died my dad (it was his father) piked me up and took me out side set me on his knee and said that my grandpa had "passed away" and was in a place where he would not feel pain and that even tho he was gone he would want me to remember all the good times we had and that as long as i remembered that then he would live on in our harts but be sure and use the term passed away not died, died has always seemed so cold to me that's all i got seeing as i don't have kids and i have not had to deal with this yet oh and sorry about Mr./Mrs. bird Ady -c.s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesLuvsShinzon Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 ^^^What he said. Our cat Rufus had to be put down at age 11. I had him before I had my daughter and she'd known him all her life. We had him shipped out to Gibraltar and repatriated at huge expense (right before the quarantine laws were relaxed ) I knew Rufus was getting poorly and he'd been backwards and forwards to the vets all week, before they found a vast, inoperable tumour in his throat. There was no choice but to have him put down there and then ~ while he was still under anaesthetic for the exploratory. Miranda was old enough to understand what had occurred when I told her what had happened, but she had to ask me about him when we were halfway home from school and there was no way I could evade answering her until we got home. Result: flood of tears in the street. I was gutted, we all were, and it was right on Miranda's Key Stage Two SATs and we worried that this would distract her. I made the decision (even though it was way too early for me) to get a kitten a.s.a.p because I though a new, lively little fellow would give her something to enjoy and take her mind off the loss. Straight the next day, we were at the RSPCA home and less than two weeks later we bought home nine-week old Perry, who was shorthaired 'Felix' cat and very different to our longhaired ginger Rufus. You can't 'replace' humans in that way, but Perry turned out to be a right daft nutter (still is) and he really took our minds off the sad loss of Rufus ~ although none of us have ever forgotten old 'Stripey'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shanester Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 I don't think I really understood when my Great-Grandma died. I was about 6 years old and she was the coolest person in the world to me (she ranked with Ultraman and Underdog!). Anyway, my folks told me she went to live in heaven and that was enough for me. I didn't fully understand the hows and the whys, but I accepted it. Good luck pal. Its not an easy one to make a child understand. Not sure I understand it half the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spideey Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 there is a lot of good information on this website. hope it helps. sorry about your loss. http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/refcap/...sing/65688.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reideen1313 Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 That's a tough one Ady. Sorry for your loss. As a dad of 5 kids myself, with various pets, I've had to do this on occasion and, let me say, it's never an easy thing and you'll never feel as if you've gotten it completely 'right' in the explaination. No amount of advice will help either unfortunately, because it is such a uniquely personal thing you're dealing with. Not to mention the fact that at 3 years old, it's going to be a tough concept to understand. Maybe, depending on your beliefs, something as simple as 'gone to heaven' 'gone to live with God' or 'gone to a better place where they won't feel bad anymore' would work. Something I found to help was to get the kids involved in burying the pet so they can see where it is and have a place to go to remember the pet. Again, with her being 3, this may not be relevant/realistic. Best I can tell you is, hug thru the tears, answer all the questions the best you can, and expect more tears (and questions) for the next few days. If, as Jules suggested, you decide to get a new pet (don't say 'replace' - I made that mistake once) get your little one involved as much as possible - picking out the pet, any extra toys for the pet, etc. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amazing.JL Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 Sorry about your loss. It's definitely not easy to explain this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rx78jj Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 I agree with Reideen1313. Have your baby there with you as you all let go of your loss. I've had alot of hamsters and dogs and cats go away on me. Man it sucks. But be there. Don't ignore the inevitable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesLuvsShinzon Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 If, as Jules suggested, you decide to get a new pet (don't say 'replace' - I made that mistake once) get your little one involved as much as possible - picking out the pet, any extra toys for the pet, etc. Yeah, I meant to say that my daughter got to choose the kitten, and now everytime he breaks something or claws the furniture, we just blame her! Good luck in any case. That's the downside of having pets and we've had to deal with guinea pigs dying as well. It's never easy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
handsomedevil Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Sorry I'm getting in on this late. I believe that I explained it once as a "last nap" or something like that where you go to sleep forever. Birds & Guinea Pigs would be trickier, but we just kept replacing our daughter's goldfish with imposters until we thought she could handle the death talk. (I believe that was around 3 or 4.) I'm pretty sure we were up to "Dorothy IV" before we gave up on goldfish... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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