Trekker 42 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 As those who've seen The Dark Knight (or those who read the spoiler thread for the movie) know, Joker tells two stories of how he got his scars. Well, on the Rotten Tomatoes board, some people decided to have fun with this and make up their own "You know how I got these scars?" stories and it became a game. Then I decided to rip it off and put it on here. How to play: Make up a crazy or serious story of "how I got these scars" from Joker's POV. Always start off with "You want to know how I got these scars?" Rate the story by person who posted above you. Enjoy the wacky Scars stories Here's mine: "You want to know how I got these scars? Well, it was 1997 and I decided to see a movie called Batman and Robin. I hated it. I hated it so much that I decided to kill everyone who worked on the movie. I started with Uma Thurman. you can't say she didn't deserve it. From there it went rathr well. But at Arnold Schwarzenegger I got my ass kicked and Joel Schumacher forced me to watch Batman and Robin and Junior over and over again until I blew up his projector. But after that, I could never smile again because of the repeated viewings of those terrible movies. It was so depressng that I gave myself these scars so that I could always have a smile on my face. Then I went to the place where they have billions of copies of Batman and Robin and Junior and blew it up so the world would be free of those movies forever" My hero. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc 05 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 (edited) "You want to know how I got these scars?" Back in the seventies life sure was swell, me and bats were still going at it, but somehow we found time to banter back and forth in ridiculous fashion. We'll at that time I had a mustache... but you see, today it doesn't fit the image I'm supposed to represent. So I decided to shave it off... ...I've never been good with shavers... ...You shuold see the time I cut my own hair... Well anyway bats tried to cut his hair too, next I notice he turns into christian bale. (?) Thats how I got my scars. P.S. Am I supposed to rate yours or mine? Edited July 22, 2008 by Havoc 05 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trekker 42 Posted July 22, 2008 Author Share Posted July 22, 2008 (edited) "You want to know how I got these scars?" Back in the seventies life sure was swell, me and bats were still going at it, but somehow we found time to banter back and forth in ridiculous fashion. We'll at that time I had a mustache... but you see, today it doesn't fit the image I'm supposed to represent. So I decided to shave it off... ...I've never been good with shavers... ...You shuold see the time I cut my own hair... Well anyway bats tried to cut his hair too, next I notice he turns into christian bale. (?) Thats how I got my scars. P.S. Am I supposed to rate yours or mine? Rate mine. And that's hilarious. Edited July 22, 2008 by Trekker 42 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luke314pi Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Both of yours are great, lol. You want to know how I got these scars? Well, I went to the movies one night to see Pocahontas (I cry like a baby when Pocahontas saves John Smith from being executed). I picked up a tub of popcorn at the concession stand, and mowed through it before the previews were even over. When I got home, I realized a piece of popcorn kernel was stuck in my teeth. Being a man of impeccable hygiene, I grabbed my minty waxed dental floss and got to work. But no matter how hard I tried, I could not get the damn thing out. I switched up to some thick twine and gave it hell. Still no luck. This piece of popcorn was driving me freaking nuts. Desperately, I started going through my junk drawers. Yarn? Didn't work. Fishing line? Hell no. String cheese? Not as funny as a disappearing pencil, but it made me smile nonetheless. Of course, smiling dug the cursed popcorn kernel deeper into my gums. I tore through my drawer like catwoman in a litterbox. Finally I found the right tool for the job. A nice long string of razor wire. Five minutes later I was in pure heaven. Sure, I had these giant gashes in my cheeks, but at least that damn popcorn kernel was gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Havoc 05 Posted July 22, 2008 Share Posted July 22, 2008 Trekkers was great! Love the part about arnold kicking his ass.... And the pocorn kernal story was just too true to life... awesome! :biggrin: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trekker 42 Posted July 22, 2008 Author Share Posted July 22, 2008 Both of yours are great, lol. You want to know how I got these scars? Well, I went to the movies one night to see Pocahontas (I cry like a baby when Pocahontas saves John Smith from being executed). I picked up a tub of popcorn at the concession stand, and mowed through it before the previews were even over. When I got home, I realized a piece of popcorn kernel was stuck in my teeth. Being a man of impeccable hygiene, I grabbed my minty waxed dental floss and got to work. But no matter how hard I tried, I could not get the damn thing out. I switched up to some thick twine and gave it hell. Still no luck. This piece of popcorn was driving me freaking nuts. Desperately, I started going through my junk drawers. Yarn? Didn't work. Fishing line? Hell no. String cheese? Not as funny as a disappearing pencil, but it made me smile nonetheless. Of course, smiling dug the cursed popcorn kernel deeper into my gums. I tore through my drawer like catwoman in a litterbox. Finally I found the right tool for the job. A nice long string of razor wire. Five minutes later I was in pure heaven. Sure, I had these giant gashes in my cheeks, but at least that damn popcorn kernel was gone. Holy shit! That was amazing! I knew where this was going when I saw stuck in my teeth! I'm still laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entertheninja! Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 wonderful luke! you wanna know how i got these scars? i was in school the year was 1989 and my friends were throwing around paper airplanes while the teacher turned around. i was laughing so much that i couldnt close my mouth and it was litterally on the floor. my friend threw a paper airplane right at me and baddabing badaboom. the airplane was in my mouth and i had to big paper cuts on the sides of my mouth.ouch...damn that boy. that is why there will not be a baby joker anytime soon i hate kids... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neolego Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Sure, I'll play, but I'll give you the ol' 2 fer 1. I'll go one seriousy, one funny! Serious You wanna know who I got these scars? It was hard growing up an foster child. Once you reach a certain age you are consided a bacteria, a worthless disease that is preying on happy families. Then one day I find myself being taken home, become part of a family. Now I had a Mom and Dad and Brother and Sister. Sounds perfect right? Well my brother didn't like the competition so he would always set me up to look like a screw up. For years he would do something horrible and it would be blamed on me. And of course, our parents would never believe me over him. Until that one night. I jumping into his bed with his favorite switchblade knife, and looking at him square in the eyes I let him watch me slice my face open while my blood poored out onto his hands and body. When our parents found us I was sure they would believe he did this, but instead they got rid of me. Cast me out like the plague and never spoke to me again. They blamed me for everything when it was their son......I should have been their son..... Funny You wanna know how I got these scars? Funny story really. I was outside cutting my lawn. Sure, I'm a psycho serial killer with a touch of bi-polar, but I enjoy landscaping. Anyway, back to the story, about half way through my lawn, the blade stopped turning. Odd, that's never happened before. So, I do what any normal human would do, I stuck my face up under the lawnmower to see if I could find anything.......and I didn't. Aggravated I storm off to Home Depot to buy a new lawn mower. They were actually running a nice sale so picked up a new one, but you know how the story goes. Those new blades are never really sharp, so I decided to get it sharpened while I was there. So, I go to the back and the guy is gone to lunch and as a wanted criminal I didn't have much time to wait around, so I figured I could sharpen it myself. So, I get the rotarary tool at full speed and begin to slowly sharpen both ends of the blade. Then outta no where the manager came and got extremely made and kicked me out of the store (and kept my mower). I'll take care of him...but that's another story. So, I'm still without a lawn mower and I'm hugry. So, I go to my local Golden Corral. I love that place, I always get steak because I get to use the steak KNIFE, and it's always a highlight. I get to the counter and start to pay and I'm outta cash. The manager at Home Depot kept my money and my lawn mower (he's really gonna get it). I start to argue with the cashboy but alas I'm kicked out again. As I walk home with no shoes on, no lawn mower, a headache, and starving I see an old homeless guy on the side of the road. The guy is missing his eye and one arm. I feel so bad but I don't have any money. I then tell him my story and try to apologize for not having any money. Then, one eye as I like to call him, reaches into his pocket and pulls our several rolls of $100 bills and hands me a couple and says have lunch on him! While eating back at Golden Corral, cutting into a my steak I had a brilliant idea. I realize that my criminal days are over and it's time to go legit. So, I carve my face open, grab a 32oz Golden Corral cup and go join one eye on the corner. neo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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