Trekker 42 Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Alright MMMV members, I know that you've got some Chuck Norris jokes. I decided to make a thread with one rule: ONE JOKE PER POST! I will start it off: Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just called the Islands Top that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MinimateEspo25 Posted February 25, 2008 Share Posted February 25, 2008 Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pickle Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Chuck Norris has a night light not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of him. I laugh every time I hear this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BannersID Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 chuck norris, the only man to ever play table tennis against a brick wall and win! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrobotC Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 chuck norris can clap with one hand Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
drgnrbrn316 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wallbreaker2.0 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Before the bogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for Chuck Norris :biggrin: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punisher Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trekker 42 Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 If Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrobotC Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 chuck norris can hear silence if you only have a dollar and chuck Norris only has a dollar,he has more money than you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jcastick Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. "Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minimadman Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Jack Bauer named his cat Chuck Norris. Because it was a pussy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blacksun1520 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 (edited) Chuck Norris does not do pushups... he benchpresses the Earth. BS Edited March 22, 2009 by blacksun1520 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Docholliday666 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 The chief export of DocHolliday666 is pain. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Minimate Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes. He knocks one pin down and the rest faint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shup Dude Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 A handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IndieMate Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Chuck Norris once decided to sell his urine as a cold beverage. We now know this beverage as Red Bull. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twisted Two-Face Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by pointing and saying "Booyah." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entertheninja! Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 (edited) Chuck Norris went to Mccdonalds and he asked for a Whopper...and he got one... it makes me chuckle every time I hear it... Edited March 22, 2009 by entertheninja! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minimadman Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 The tears of Chuck Norris can cure all diseases known to man. To bad Chuck Norris has never cried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trekker 42 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 (edited) If by some temporal paradox Chuck Norris was to fight himself, he'd win. Period Chuck Norris and Mr. T walk into a bar. The bar explodes because no one building can hold that much awesome. I'm surprised that this got necroed. I forgot about this topic... Edited March 23, 2009 by Trekker 42 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrobotC Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 (edited) If by some temporal paradox Chuck Norris was to fight himself, he'd win. Period Chuck Norris and Mr. T walk into a bar. The bar explodes because no one building can hold that much awesome. I'm surprised that this got necroed. I forgot about this topic... yeah i posted up a new comment and renewed it Edited March 23, 2009 by clayface1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TM2 Dinobot Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Awesome thread! Chuck Norris jumps into the ocean. Chuck doesn't get we, the ocean get's Chucked! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trekker 42 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris. This one is pretty bad: Jesus can walk on Water but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buttheadsmate Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 I decided to make a thread with one rule: ONE JOKE PER POST! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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